


Too Hard to Forget

by Impala_Chick



Series: Lose Your Mind and Come to Your Senses [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Getting Back Together, Kissing, M/M, Stranded, Trapped In Elevator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 17:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Chick/pseuds/Impala_Chick
Summary: Steve can't move on, no matter how hard he tries. But then he and Tony end up at the same SHIELD party.





	Too Hard to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> The happy conclusion to my series! Hope you enjoy.

When Steve walked into the SHIELD party at the compound, he immediately noticed Tony standing at the far side of the room. Steve cursed under his breath and walked straight over to the bar and ordered a drink. He had seriously considered not going to the party at all. The whole point of it was to woo some potentially generous benefactors and build morale, and both of those things were solidly in Tony’s wheelhouse. But Steve also didn’t want to give away the fact that he was still sore from everything that had happened between them. Even if Tony was the one to break things off, Steve was doing just fine.

At least he could pretend like he was.

Steve had arrived to the party fashionably late, so it wasn’t a surprise to see that everyone else was well on their way to becoming intoxicated. Sam came over and clapped him on the back and offered a sympathetic frown, but Steve just waved him off. Nat also came over, but she knew better than to ask him how he was doing. 

Steve hadn’t seen Tony in over a month. Every time Steve heard about Tony’s arrival, he’d made himself scarce. He compartmentalized memories of Tony and locked them up in the back of his mind, and he kept so busy that he only thought about Tony at night, when he couldn’t sleep. Sometimes he’d think about the warmth of Tony’s hands on his skin, or the happy sound of his laugh, or the sweet taste of his kiss. But those weren’t bad memories, so Steve let himself revel in them when they came to him unbidden. The bad memories, like the words he wished he could take back, or the far away look that Tony would sometimes get when he was in bed with Steve, those memories Steve avoided like the plague.

Steve kept his gaze directed at the bar or his drink. Even though he wasn’t looking, Tony’s voice drifted across the room. Tony was talking excitedly about SI’s latest research, something to do with space travel, and Steve felt a pang in his gut when he realized he wasn’t familiar with the project. He was definitely out of the loop. The melodic sound of Tony’s voice was still captivating, so Steve decided to stay at the bar sipping an old-fashioned and casually eavesdropping. 

“It’s great you came, Steve. But do you really have to mope all night? You’re killin’ the vibe,” Sam teased as he came up next to Steve and ordered another drink from the bartender. 

“I don’t mope.” Steve was considering how best to politely tell Sam to take a hike, but Sam’s eyes widened as he glanced over Steve’s shoulder.

“What?”

“Incoming, on your six,” Sam whispered under his breath. By the grave look on his face, Steve figured it must be Tony walking towards them. Steve got up from his stool, anticipating some kind of fight. Maybe some harsh words directed his way, like _how dare you show your face here_ or _don’t ruin this party for everybody_.

Instead, Tony looked at him steadily, his voice neutral. 

“Hello Steve, Sam.” 

He was wearing a simple black suit with a white collared shirt and a thin black tie. Of course everything fit him like a glove, and the simple elegance of his outfit really set off his facial features. His gaze didn’t waver as he assessed Steve, his eyes dark and intense. A few weeks ago, Steve would have assumed that look meant Tony had something important to tell him. That was too much to hope for now. 

“Do you need me to -” Sam started to say out of the corner of his mouth.

“It’s okay,” Steve said immediately, under his breath. “Hey, Tony.”

Sam took that as his cue to leave, and he politely excused himself. Tony took a deep breath, and Steve crossed his arms.

“I just… I wanted to say I was sorry, and I was a jackass, and I generally tend to avoid intimacy anyway, ya know?” Tony kept his voice low, and he leaned forward a little even though he probably knew Steve could hear him just fine. His eyes looked gentle, and he was smiling. 

“Are you just saying this because you’re drunk?” Steve asked as soon as the thought crossed his mind. Steve didn’t want to let Tony say something he was going to have to take back later, and he couldn’t think of another explanation for why Tony would be offering an apology _now_.

“C’mon Steve, we haven’t seen each other in weeks. Can’t we move on?” Tony reached out to touch Steve’s shoulder, and Steve visibly recoiled. Steve had been hurt by what Tony had said to him before, and he would eventually get over it. But letting Tony touch him would have spelled disaster. It would have reminded him of the last time they touched. 

“We’re fine, okay? I hope you enjoy the party,” Steve said with a shrug. He hoped he sounded convincing. He bee-lined it for the bathroom, because he felt the need to escape. He burst through the swinging door and stepped up to the sink. He gripped the counter with both hands, breathing hard. After a few moments, he turned on the water and splashed some on his face. The cool water helped him get his breathing under control, and he pulled a paper towel from the dispenser to mop up the extra water that he’d spilled on the sink. 

He checked himself in the mirror to make sure he looked relatively normal, and then threw away the paper towel and walked back out of the bathroom. He was definitely ready to leave, and he didn’t want to risk running into Tony again. There was an elevator on the same floor as the party, but to get to it, Steve would have had to walk past the bar and across the dance floor. He was much closer to the staircase. So instead of saying goodbye to anyone, he walked down the stairs to call the elevator on the floor below. 

The only way to get into the garage, where his bike was waiting for him, was to ride the elevator. So once he made it down the stairs, he walked over to the elevator bank and pressed the down button, grateful that no one was around.

The down arrow to his right lit up, and then with a ding the elevator doors slid open. 

And there was Tony, standing in the elevator. 

Steve felt his stomach drop down to his shoes.

Tony looked up, a soft smile on his face. Steve debated just turning around and running, or even letting the doors close and then pressing the elevator button again, but both options seemed incredibly rude. 

He sighed, resigned. 

“Is it okay if I -?” Steve gestured inside.

“Of course. Plenty of room,” Tony replied instantly with a nod.

Steve stepped in and turned around. He pressed the button for the garage, and resolutely didn’t say anything as the elevator descended. To the right of the doors, there was a wall of floor number buttons, and the number three was lit up, which meant that Tony was headed to the makeshift workshop he had set up at the compound. He must have been struck with an idea while he was at the party. That happened sometimes.

The black strip above the elevator doors displayed the floor numbers as they descended. 

15-14-13-12.

Steve resolutely kept his eyes on the numbers, counting along with them in his head, willing the elevator to speed up. His hands were starting to feel clammy, so he shoved them in the pockets of his slacks.

And then there was deep rumbling sound, followed very quickly by the sound of metal scraping against metal. The elevator ground to a halt.

“Fuck,” Tony swore under his breath.

“You okay?” Steve was already in damage assessment mode. The elevator hadn’t dropped or slipped at all, so it seemed unlikely that it was going to drop them 12 stories into solid concrete. The elevator panel with all of the floor numbers had gone dark but there was a white emergency light on, illuminating the callbox.

Instead of answering, Tony shouldered past him to open the callbox and grab the phone out of it. 

“Hello? Ya, listen. We’re stuck in here,” Tony started to say. He paused, and glanced over at Steve, his lips pursed.

“It’s me and… Captain Rogers. Yes.” Tony sighed, clearly frustrated. He scrubbed a hand through his hair as he listened to whoever was on the other end.

“Fine, fine. Call me back if something changes. You know where I’ll be,” Tony said as he hung up the phone.

“So?” Steve asked.

“We’re stuck here for probably 15 minutes or so. The power grid experienced a surge, maybe from the party? So they are restarting everything.”

“Are we sure this isn’t a coincidence?” Steve asked, highly aware of the possibility that this power outage could be part of some coordinated attack.

“No, but not much we can do right now. The SHIELD agent on duty has asked me to tell you that you shouldn’t pull the doors open because there is only a concrete wall on the other side,” Tony said as he started to pace around the small elevator, feeling the walls.

Steve tracked Tony’s movements, but then directed his attention towards the ceiling. He was pretty confident that with a boost up, he could pull off one of the ceiling tiles and they could get onto the top of the elevator. 

“I think we’re stuck. The ceiling might be the only weakness,” Tony said as he pointed upwards.

“How about we give them a few minutes to get the power back on, and if they can’t, we’ll know something is up and bust out,” Steve suggested.

Tony nodded in agreement. Now that they were waiting it out, it struck Steve how comical it was that he was in this situation with _Tony_ , when he had done almost everything he could to avoid him. 

He started laughing at the absurdity of it. He couldn’t help himself.

“What’s so funny?” Tony said as he crossed his arms. He tapped his foot impatiently, and Steve got himself under control, if only to stop annoying Tony.

“I just… I really tried not to bother you tonight. I’m sorry we got stranded. Together. It’s kinda ridiculous, really,” Steve said sincerely. 

“You’re not a ‘bother’, Steve. Jesus Christ, this doesn’t have to be so damn awkward.” Tony turned away, his shoulders tense. Steve automatically felt the urge to reach out and comfort him, but resisted. Steve was struck by the memory of the way Tony’s skin felt beneath his fingertips, and he wanted nothing more than to feel Tony’s skin again. He crossed his arms to keep himself from touching. Tony must have interpreted that gesture as anger, because Tony stepped up into his space, his eyes hard and angry.

Steve let his arms drop to his sides, and quickly started talking before Tony could. And once he started spilling his guts, he couldn’t stop. There wasn’t anything to lose.

“It’s not what you think. I’m not even mad at you. I’m just… I miss you, Tony. And I’m working on it, I am. I’m just not over you. Yet. I’m sorry about that too. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable,” Steve finished lamely. 

Steve chanced a look at Tony. His mouth had dropped open, and his eyebrows were raised like he was surprised. Steve didn’t turn away. He was ready for whatever it was that Tony wanted to say. After all, there wasn’t anywhere Steve could go. 

“You’re not over me?” Tony asked softly. 

“God, Tony. How could I be? You’re incredible,” Steve admitted, his voice rough. 

“You’re always so focused on work, the mission. I just didn’t think you were serious about whatever we were doing. But really, you could hardly do better than this,” Tony said as he gestured down his own body. And he was smiling, now. The sight of him, happy and joking, lit up the dark elevator and took Steve’s breath away. Hope bloomed in his chest and threatening to burst out of him. 

Steve still felt hesitant, though. It didn’t seem possible that one admission by Steve was enough to change Tony’s mind.

“What happened to ‘this isn’t going to work’?” Steve parroted Tony’s words back at him, but tried to keep his voice neutral. He wasn’t trying to mock Tony, he was only trying to get clarity. He held his breath, and Tony’s smile faltered slightly.

“I was trying to do us both a favor, keep us both from getting hurt,” Tony said with a sigh. “I just figured you liked fucking, or you liked the secrecy of it. I didn’t think for a minute you actually… _liked_ me.” Tony’s eyes were resolutely focused on the ground, and his voice sounded small. His admission made Steve suck in a breath, and he quickly rewound their relationship in his head.

He realized he’d never said much about how he’d felt. He’d been avoiding addressing feelings at all. But now it was time to change that.

“Tony, clearly I have not made it clear how important you are to me and that’s on me,” Steve said in a rush. He leaned down and put his hand on Tony’s cheek, and Tony looked up at him, a soft smile on his lips. 

“But can I kiss you now?”

“Please do,” Tony said, breathless. And then Steve leaned down and Tony leaned up, and it was like they hadn’t missed a beat. Tony melted against him, and Steve wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist to pull him as close as he could get him. 

“I missed you too,” Tony said, his mouth open against Steve’s as they both inhaled shakily. Steve could feel Tony’s hands as he gripped his biceps, and then they were just a press of lips and teeth and tongues, and Steve was lost in the taste of him, sweet like champagne. 

Steve’s hands wandered to Tony’s waistband, to slide under his shirt.

They were saved from having to decide whether to completely defile the busted elevator when all of the lights suddenly flipped back on. The elevator lurched slightly before it began descending at a normal pace.

Tony looked at Steve for a moment, his eyes wide. They both leapt into action at the same time, and scrambled for the numbers panel. Tony pressed floor number 11, the next floor down.

“Stairs, right?” Tony asked, his eyes bright and his smile downright wicked.

“Stairs,” Steve agreed, his heart beating unnaturally fast.

The elevator dinged as it came to a stop, and Tony hopped out and grabbed Steve’s hand to pull him along. 

As soon as they exited, they nearly collided with a very surprised SHIELD agent. The woman looked between Steve and Tony, her eyebrows raised. She was trying very hard to be discreet as she looked at their hands, still clasped together. She cleared her throat awkwardly, and Steve thought about dropping Tony’s hand in order to maintain professionalism. But then he realized that there was nothing wrong with people knowing he liked Tony, not after all they had gone through to get to this moment. He looked over at Tony and let him take the lead.

Tony met his eyes, smirking mischievously, before he turned back to the agent.

“What, you’ve never seen two superheroes hold hands before?” Tony quipped. She smiled bashfully, and then Tony was whisking them both past her, towards the emergency exit. 

Steve laughed heartily until they made it to the door. Tony pulled it open and they clattered down the steps, still holding hands. Being with Tony like this, on an adventure without any danger involved, was exhilarating. As he grasped at the right word for the way he was feeling towards Tony, it dawned on him. Maybe this is what love felt like.

**Author's Note:**

> Now on [tumblr](http://impalachick.tumblr.com/post/182595603833/too-hard-to-forget-impalachick-marvel) if you feel inclined to reblog.


End file.
